


Gossip Girl

by L4sht0n



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, But I think of ashton as a power bottom, Eventual Smut, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, I guess I haven't quite decided yet, Idiots in Love, Lashton - Freeform, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Top Luke, based on gossip girl, but not quite either, so there's gonna be a lot of similarities ig
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:01:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28198062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L4sht0n/pseuds/L4sht0n
Summary: "We should what?" Luke teased; the blond leaned his head closer to Ashton. Ashton was speechless, and he hated the effect Luke had on him. Hated how Luke knew how to use it. His breath was fanning against Ashton's skin, and the night cold didn't seem like a problem anymore."We should go back," Ashton muttered, his eyes fluttered slightly, leaning into Luke's touch. It was obvious that Ashton had no intention of going anywhere. "But I don't wanna." Ashton continued before he closed the slight gap between them.Ashton Irwin, party king, returns to New York after mysteriously disappearing for eight months. Since then the culture scene of Upper East Manhattan has changed. A new blog with the name Gossip Girl spills everyone's secrets ruthlessly, including Ashton's own well-kept secrets. Ashton has way too many secrets for the public eye to see, and he certainly doesn't want everyone to see how close he really is getting to Luke Hemmings, Manhattan's own fuckboy.
Relationships: Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin, Michael Clifford/Calum Hood (side)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> Posted under the username -Night-Stalker- on Wattpad

[ ](https://ibb.co/vzLQfdd)

The glowing lights from the street burnt his eyes slightly. Ashton had almost forgotten how bright the lights could be. The scenery was different from what Ashton had gotten accustomed to. The family mansion in Italy had been exactly what Ashton needed, but his mother had seen it suit for him to return home before the school year began. New York during the night always gave off a different vibe than it did during the day. Despite having grown up in the city that never slept Ashton wasn't sure which he preferred. Both satisfied different needs, it really came down to what Ashton craved he decided on as the taxi drove past Time Square. The brunet leaned his head against the taxi window, he'd missed it.

At the same time, a nasty feeling pooled itself in his stomach. He had missed his family, not to mention Lauren, he missed his friends and the school at times. But the refreshing countryside of Italy was free of the toxicity, the thrilling environment that once had excited Ashton seemed almost dull. The party scene used to be Ashton's getaway, but it was the same thing that had him sent away. Everyone would anticipate his return, but Ashton wasn't sure if he wanted it. He'd spent months on repairing his mental health, would the familiar culture scene break it down again? Being back in New York was thrilling and scaring at the same time.

His hazel eyes drifted down to the phone in his hand, the clock was barely half-past eight. The parties had barely kicked off if they followed classic New York-style. The fact that it was Friday evening only made it obvious that parties would be held today. The contacts of his old friends were still saved on his phone, he hadn't dialled them since the incident. Maybe Ashton should call them? He didn't know what he was going to say if he did. Michael would be overjoyed if he heard of his return, but maybe at the same time, he wouldn't? Ashton had changed. Eight months had passed, Michael had probably changed.

He hadn't left on bad terms with Michael, but they weren't necessarily good either. They were childhood best friends though; Michael deserved a call. Michael deserved a message that Ashton had returned.

His fingers easily found Michael's number, he used to be on speed dial. For over a minute his finger hovered over the green telephone button. What should he say? Last time they spoke were on New Year Eve's, the next day Ashton had been shipped over to Europe. No one had shown up at the airport to bid him goodbye, not because they didn't want to. His mother hadn't told them about her decision and had confiscated his phone. He hadn't gotten it back before she left in late January. By the time he'd gotten it back he had hundreds of missed calls and messages, none he bothered to answer. When Ashton had the mental energy to reply or call back, it was too late. Too much time had passed, and no one cared to check up on him. Not even Michael. Ashton assumed that Anne had told them to leave him alone. If she didn't, well then it hurt even more.

The yellow taxi came to an abrupt halt and ruined Ashton's train of thought. It was for the best anyways; the past was in the past. His hazel eyes scanned the familiar street, the familiar building. He'd grown up here, but it all seemed so strange now. The building he once called home seemed like a cold stranger. It didn't feel like home or cosy, it was cold, impersonal, and Ashton felt a little lost. He paid the driver without problems, giving way too much tips. His mother wouldn't berate him for it, so it didn't matter much. Plus, he probably made that taxi driver's night with a 50 dollar tip, even if Ashton's night wasn't nearly as joyful. With a heavy sigh, Ashton took his luggage, it wasn't much. The rest had probably arrived hours before him, he didn't want to come home yet. Didn't want to meet the judging eyes of his mother. He knew she was still suspicious; she was just waiting for him to act out again. He hadn't even gotten the chance of settling in, and she still would eye him as if he was scheming something illegal. He wasn't.

He'd be shipped off to another country before he could say sorry if he even dared to step out of line. Ashton had left that scene in January when he was forced to go. Although he'd hated his mother for it back then, he'd come to the revelation that it was for the best. Now that Ashton had returned, he didn't plan on returning to the party scene. Reluctantly he dragged his feet towards the luxury apartment complex, he didn't want to face his mother, but he had nowhere else to go.

A feeling of being watched crept over Ashton as he looked through the doors of what would be his home. His head turned slightly, the street was crowded, but no one was paying attention to him. Ashton shook it off, he was still getting used to New York. The small village outside of Rome had never been this crowded, but then again, their population didn't even make up half a per cent of New York's population. More often than not Ashton had felt alone in Italy, it had been lonely, but he'd been at peace with it. Italy didn't have the prying eyes that never let you off the hook. Or the crowd that always wanted to see your every move, hear every word, experience every action. Italy had been lonesome, but Ashton had been free from the audience. Ashton left the creeping feeling at that.

The doorman recognized Ashton without trouble, and Ashton almost hated him for it. He wanted to blend into the crowd, he wanted to disappear with New York's ten million inhabitants. For once in his life, Ashton wanted to be a guy in the crowd, not the guy on the scene. Of course, that was impossible when you were an Irwin. The name itself was powerful, without mentioning who his father was, or better yet his mother. Even the name 'Ashton Irwin' would bring acknowledge and recognition, not because of his parents or because of his achievements, but because he was a drunken billionaire playboy always out to no good. Well, at least that was the picture New York had of him. Ashton had left that life in December.

"Good evening, mister Irwin" the doorman greeted him as Ashton entered the apartment complex.

"Good evening," Ashton muttered back, only smiling half-heartedly. He tried to remind himself it wasn't the doorman's fault Ashton was recognizable, or that he'd see his mother in only minutes. None of it was the doorman's fault, but Ashton couldn't bring himself to cheerily greet him.

All Ashton wanted was to see Lauren, he couldn't care less for his mother. His little sister was the only thing that Ashton wanted to return to. Ashton smiled slightly to the receptionist before he entered the elevator. The gods blessed him with solitude for a slight moment before he would be forced to face his mother. Ashton didn't know what he'd do if the elevator hadn't been empty. Shakingly he pressed the button for the top floor. What had seemed like a mundane task previously to get home, was now one Ashton dreaded. Pushing the buttons was too much of a hassle, the wait was torture.

The golden elevator doors slid up too slowly for Ashton's liking. He was almost tempted to punch a hole through the wall and be shipped off to whatever so he wouldn't have to face his mother. Sadly, that would rather lead to a broken wrist than a hole in the wall, and he'd face her, nonetheless. Ashton winced at the 'ding' sound, had it always been that loud? Ashton could remember times where he hardly noticed it, now it felt like the sound echoed through the entire apartment.

"Ashton darling!" He could hear his mother's high heels click against the marble floor before he saw her. He knew she was going to hug him; he didn't want one, but he placed the luggage against the floor so he could embrace her. "Honey!" she began again, and her face cracked up into a smile and she wrapped her arms around him. In her heels, she was almost as tall as him. She was wearing a black tight dress, with an open back, it ended just above her knew. Probably one of her own creations.

"Welcome back," she greeted him, and Ashton returned the hug stiffly.

"Thanks."

"Look at you," she said and cupped his face in her hands to study him. "You look so healthy, the hair's too long, but we can fix that. And look at that glorious tan," she continued to ramble about Ashton's look, and Ashton couldn't find it in him to care. She was just filling the silence with meaningless words so she wouldn't be forced to apologize. So, she wouldn't utter those words they both were thinking, that she was just waiting for him to go back to his old ways. Ashton brushed her hands off her the second the chance arrived, she was his mother, but the relation almost stopped there. Of course, Ashton appreciated the things she'd done for him, but that was her job as a parent. He still couldn't forgive her for forcing him away, he could understand her choice, it made sense and was reasonable to some degree. But he hated her for forcing it on him.

Ashton had changed in Italy, and the choice his mother made might have been the right one, but she should've consulted him first. Asked for his thoughts, instead, she did what she did best. Took control of the situation and didn't care for input. It always ended the same way, driving people away.

"Where's Lauren?" Ashton asked as they moved into the kitchen. He'd sat down on a barstool by the counter, with her opposite of him facing him. Lauren should've been there to greet him, but he still hadn't seen a glimpse of her.

"Lauren ... isn't here," his mother answered shortly, she didn't meet his gaze as she turned her back to him to steer her tea. She was probably in the way of making it when Ashton had arrived. Ashton knew his own mother good enough to know that this was a mere distraction, distracting herself so she didn't have to meet his eye.

"Is she out with friends?"

"Not exactly."

"Then, where is she?" Ashton pressed the issue. His mother turned again with the teacup in her had. She was still steering the tea, trying to find distraction in the smallest of things. Ashton knew what it meant, his hazel eyes scanned the apartment, he couldn't see a trace of Lauren. Lauren was a mess, and her things were always everywhere, even if the maids cleaned. Lauren hadn't been here for a long time. If she wasn't staying here, she was somewhere else. His mother had shipped both of them away.

"Unbelievable," Ashton muttered angrily, "what did Lauren do to make you send her away? What could she possibly have done? Lauren never acted out, and even if she has in the last months that's no reason to send her away compared to how much shit I've done."

"Language," his mother warned, she didn't meet his eyes. The tea was probably cold, but his mother kept steering in it. "I haven't sent her away," she mumbled at first. Her voice was soft, and she sounded sad, where was Lauren? "She's in the hospital, has been for weeks." Ashton could feel his eyes widen and mouth fall open. He was paralyzed. Why hadn't he'd been notified of this? What had happened to Lauren? What accident had Lauren been in that required intensive care for weeks? How badly had Lauren been injured? Questions flew around in his mind, and Ashton couldn't think. Could barely register anything, the shock was overwhelming. He didn't know what to feel. Different emotions tried to surface his mind but kept drowning in the vast sea of numbness.

"Why is Lauren in the hospital?"

His mother remained silent. Her hazel eyes met his and Ashton could see them grow glossy. She was at the brink of tearing up, and Ashton felt bad for her. He wanted to comfort her but had no words to offer. "Suicide attempt," she said through a breathy voice before a small yelp escaped her lips. The momentary shock Ashton had just experienced was nothing compared to this. Lauren had tried to kill herself. Why? Ashton wanted to scream, and cry, but most of all he needed to see his baby sister. It felt like he was a strange form of denial, he couldn't believe that she wanted to kill herself. It wasn't real, it couldn't be real. The Lauren he knew was happy, the Lauren he left was a happy-go-lucky kid that had everything to win. The Lauren he left - ... oh God. Ashton had left her. Not by choice, but he had. He hadn't been here when she needed him the most. He hadn't been here to protect her, help her, save her.

This was all Ashton's fault. He should've been there. Should've been there to see the signs, to help her before it escalated into this. Lauren shouldn't have been left on her own.

"Which hospital?" Ashton asked he could feel the tears start to build up, but he refused to acknowledge them. He had to see her. He had to tell her he was sorry. He never should've left. She should never have sent him away.

"Ashton," his mother took his hand, and Ashton flinched away. "Visiting hours are over," she tried to reason with him, "you can come back tomorrow." He could see the hurt in her eyes, but he refused to comfort her. He blamed himself for what had happened to Lauren, but a tiny piece of him blamed her too.

"I don't care. I'll figure something out," he said and got up from the barstool. She tried to reach for him, but he stayed away as if her touch was fire. "Now, which hospital," he didn't ask, he demanded it. Begrudgingly she gave him the name of the hospital and tried to talk him from going.

"There's no use," she began but Ashton was already inside the elevator.

"She's my sister," Ashton only replied, as if that was reason enough. And it was. He didn't greet or look at the doorman or the receptionist on his way out, he flew out and into a yellow cab within a minute. He stayed silent the entire ride except for when he shouted his location to the driver. This time Ashton didn't leave any tips. Couldn't care enough to do so, he only had one thing on his mind. He needed to see her. To reassure her that things would turn okay, to reassure himself that she was alive and okay. He needed to see her.

He ran inside the hospital only seconds after he'd paid. He didn't care if it seemed rude. The manners he'd grown-up learning was all forgotten, more important things were on the line than the taxi driver's feelings or the nurses he passed. Out of breath, he reached the receptionist that gave him an odd look, Ashton couldn't judge her, his appearance was dramatic and partly unnecessary.

"I ..." he began, his breath still heaving, "need to see my sister, please, her name is Lauren Irwin."

"I'm sorry sir," she began calmly, "visiting hours ended an hour ago. Your sister needs the rest she can get, you are more than welcome to return tomorrow." She smiled slightly at him, but Ashton couldn't accept the answer. God, how much he seemed like one of those posh boys from Upper East Side Manhattan.

"Please, she's my sister. Just this once, I just found out that she ..." Ashton stopped himself. He was not about to say that he just found out she'd tried to kill herself. "I just found out she is here, I haven't seen her in months. I won't be long," he promised. "I just need to see her, even for some seconds." He practically begged, and the nurse looked so unimpressed with him.

"I'm sorry sir, but the rules apply to everyone, you can come back tomorrow."

A defeated sigh left his lips, he tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't budge. At the end, Ashton apologized for being an inconvenience before he retreated out of the hospital. The night was starting to get grow cold as he stepped out of the hospital again. Ashton wanted to curse and scream. He wanted to cry and punch somebody. He wanted to use all those pent-up emotions and get rid of them through a distraction. Ashton didn't want to think about anything. About his mother or Lauren or his awful return. He wished he could drink away his thoughts and fuck someone senseless, just like he would in the good old days. Things were different now though he tried to tell himself. He had hardly been back for three hours, and Ashton already considered drinking away his sorrows. Maybe Ashton hadn't changed as much as he thought he had?

Ashton caught a cab and mindlessly told it to drive to Manhattan. He couldn't bear the thought of being home right now. He couldn't tolerate seeing his mother's face. He just wanted to go around even if he had no business. Most of all Ashton wanted alcohol. His phone saved him from his train of thoughts. His hazel eyes scanned the ID caller and accepted the call right away. How strange. Michael hadn't called him for several months, but the day of his return Michael calls. What a strange coincidence.

"Hey," Ashton uttered.

"I heard you're back in town," Michael said, and Ashton could hear the familiar sound of a party in the background. It didn't sound like Michael had changed much.

"How'd you know?" Ashton asked, but it didn't surprise him much that Michael knew. Michael had a way of just knowing things before everyone else.

"You were spotted," his best friend replied without going into detail. "Where are you right now?"

"In a cab," Ashton replied. He could see New York passing by as the cab drove towards Ashton's location. Michael only laughed at his reply. Ashton didn't know why, but he didn't ask why. He assumed it had something to with Michael being drunk.

"In need of a drink?" Michael asked innocently. "I mean, man you must be thirsty after staying clean for eight months."

"Actually, I am," Ashton replied before he had the chance to regret it. Man, his old life returned faster than Ashton had the chance to reject it. "Where are you now?" Michael told him before he hung up, and Ashton smiled slightly. He looked forward to seeing Michael, at least.

"Could you change the location?" Ashton asked, and the taxi turned around.


	2. Life on the Party Scene

Michael's house was exactly like Ashton remembered it. Large and pretentious, just like Ashton own apartment. However, Michael's was even more so. Not because Michael's family was richer, but his parents often brought work home and had to have a showy house. Michael's mother was an ambassador for the American embassy in Singapore, and his father was a senator. They both expected Michael to follow suit and pursue a political career, but the only thing Michael cared about was partying and ignoring his responsibilities. The boy knew how to make a speech though.

Ashton used to joke that Michael had learnt rhetoric before he learnt to walk. Most people close to Michael and Ashton would agree. He stepped out of the yellow cab and glanced at the house. The house was unchanged, but it still felt so different. Ashton was the one that had changed, he knew that, but Ashton couldn't comprehend reality. Everything was spinning around so quickly, and Ashton didn't know how to deal with it. His mother should've made him see a therapist instead of excluding him to a family mansion in Italy and a strict catholic all-boys school. At least Ashton's Italian had improved.

"The man, the legend. The one and only king. He has fought long and hard in the war, but he came back a victor. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Ashton Irwin!" Michael spoke dramatically, making his voice sound like an announcer. Ashton grinned at him and locked eyes with his green ones. He hadn't seen him since New Year's Eve. Ashton leapt forward and hugged him tightly, Michael didn't hesitate to hug him back. For a second Ashton was sure Michael cried a little, but he only laughed. Guys like them didn't cry, didn't feel sorrow. When they were sad, they drank, when they were angry – they drank. When they were happy, celebrated, or bored; they drank. They did a lot of drinking. There was only the two of them outside on Michael's huge stairwell, and a raging party inside, but they didn't mind. Ashton was glad Michael had decided to meet him outside.

"Hey buddy," Ashton greeted, he didn't know how else to greet a lifelong friend like Michael. He wanted to tell him everything, explain why he didn't call or text back. He wanted to update him on his life, but Ashton realised that Italy had been pretty boring. Nothing had happened, except that he'd been punished for eight months. There was nothing to tell because Ashton had stayed away from all the drama.

"Is it true that you're a good Christian boy now? That's what Lauren said," Michael asked wiggling his eyebrows. The fact that he said it in a such cheerily tone made it obvious he didn't know about her failed suicide attempt, but Ashton couldn't help but wince slightly. God, he needed a drink. Or some weed, whatever was the nearest.

"Like hell I am," Ashton muttered probably too angrily, "they couldn't make me believe that shit even if they made me pope." Michael only laughed at his answer, and he smiled. Ashton's time in Italy hadn't been that bad, and he hardly had registered the religion after a while. Ashton was too focused on his studies when he wasn't doing schoolwork Ashton read. He'd stayed clear off alcohol, drugs, parties, and girls. Today would his first day in New York, and he already broke his streak. Ashton couldn't find it in him to care though. Lauren's failed suicide attempt had been a part of Ashton's drug-free plan. He didn't know how to cope and ran back to old coping mechanisms. Anne should've sent him to therapy instead of Rome.

"Of course," Michael began jokingly, "you wouldn't be able to live in celibacy."

Ashton laughed, "I'd have the alter wine though," he shrugged, but they both know Ashton wasn't about to study theology. "I'd be fine for the most part."

"You'd last as long as the wine lasted and then you'd be back on your old bullshit," Michael laughed loudly. He could hear that Michael was slightly drunk, but Ashton couldn't care. That was normal for them. It was good having his best friend back.

"Hey, remember if you don't sin a little bit, Jesus died for nothing," they shared a joint laugh before Michael started to drag him towards the party. It was getting cold outside, and although it was nice catching up the party inside waited for no one. Not even returning party kings. Inside was just like Ashton had remembered. He had a theory that everything had remained the same, except for him. Slipping into his old life was so easy, and yet at the same time, Ashton found out an hour later after drinking and dancing that it didn't feel the same. It used to be so thrilling, but it was mundane and dull now.

Michael was generous with the liquor and made sure that Ashton's glass never was empty. Several people came up to greet him, but Ashton couldn't care less about it, not anymore at least. Eight months ago, Ashton would've loved the attention, he would've thrived in it. It felt like peasants were greeting a king after his return, but Ashton couldn't find joy in it. What good did it do for him now? It wasn't like he had a relationship to everyone that greeted him. They just wanted his attention, craved some acknowledge from him, but Ashton had nothing to give. He wasn't here for them; he just wanted some drinks and a distraction. He didn't want to face his mother, and he wanted the night to pass by so he could see Lauren. He was indifferent to everything else.

"Shut the fuck up!" Michael screamed over the music, and the crowd slowed down. The music quieted down, and people turned to Michael. When Ashton had left Michael, the boy had green hair, it was blue now. Ashton wondered what other colours he'd missed in the time he'd been gone. "Tonight's a special night," Michael began as he climbed a table to get everyone's attention. "My best friend Ashton is back," people cheered, and Ashton refused to gloat or bathe in the attention. Instead, he pretended all eyes were on him.

"I know, I know," Michael said in an attempt to quiet the crowd again, "we've all missed Manhattan's party king, but he has returned to us now! I promise you haven't been to a party unless you've drunk with Ashton. No one can drink like Ashton," Ashton wanted to interfere to tell Michael he'd left that life behind, but he shut his mouth. He realised he had little credibility for the moment, being here on his first day spoke against him. Besides, plenty of people could drink like Ashton, Ashton's tolerance wasn't where it once was. "So, in words of the true party king, let's get shitfaced!" Michael was off the table, but the audience roared long after. His best friend gloated in the attention; Michael hadn't changed one bit. Except for the hair. Ashton found himself wondering if Michael and he would click together now that they'd changed. Ashton couldn't say he'd matured, but he'd changed, and he worried the change would make him drift away from Michael.

[ ](https://ibb.co/8NXVHGX)

"Man, it's good to have you back," Calum said and gave him a short bro-hug, Ashton smiled slightly and returned it. The familiar buzzing of alcohol through his veins was downplayed, he needed more booze Ashton realised. He was nowhere drunk enough. "We've missed you," the black-haired boy continued. Ashton wondered if Calum spoke for Michael and him, or if he meant a more general 'we'.

"It's good to be back," Ashton said in lack of something better to say. Calum and he used to be good friends, in Calum's head they probably still were good friends, but Ashton felt awkward. He needed more booze for sure.

"How was Italy?"

"Trash with the side of boring," Ashton said and lured some laughter out of Calum. The brown-eyed male looked at him, and Ashton turned his smile into a more serious expression. "Seriously though, it was very boring, that's why mom sent me there. I haven't drunk in eight months, haven't partied since last year. What I'm more interested in is New York. What have I missed?" Ashton knew he'd had to catch up sometime. Now was a good time as later, if it turned boring – though nothing in New York ever was – he could escape it by finding something to drink.

"Not much," Calum shrugged. "Hemmings have taken over your title, I guess. But then again, the two of you were always in competition, except that he was more on the fucking side, and you on the partying. No one comes close to beat him, so he walked off the title easily. There's a new Queen B at Constance, her name is Amanda. She's a real piece of work. There's been the usual trouble, of course, but I doubt you're interested in listening to me and the boys' drunken stories." Calum looked slightly at him, and only just shook his head. He wasn't particularly interested in listening to eight months' worth of parties. "Emily and I broke up in April. Michael was on and off with this girl, Britney or whatever, they finally settled decided that they're done. Hemmings have been his usual self. Oh and," Calum seemed hesitant at first, his brown eyes darted, and he bit his lower lip.

"Well, I assume you'll hear of it sooner or later if you haven't already. There's a real nasty piece of a blog going viral," Calum began vaguely.

"A blog?"

"Well yeah. It's called Gossip Girl, and it reveals Upper East siders secrets-..."

"Okay, so it's a rumour blog, so what?" Ashton asked taking it lightly.

"That's the thing, it's a bit more of a rumour blog. It reveals secrets you thought no one knew about. Emily cheated on me and guess how I found out. Through the blog. There's someone that spills our secrets, just look," Calum quickly flipped through the blog, and Ashton saw two posts about himself. Was this how Michael knew he was back in town? "Look, just watch out for the blog, and don't tell people anything unless you trust them. I'm warning you, but you won't know what I'm talking about a big secret of yours is revealed for the entire internet to see."

"What did the blog say about you?" Ashton asked. He was smart enough to realise that Emily's cheating wasn't his hugest scandal. Calum talked about it as if it was personal, and it was. What was Calum's hugest scandal?

His friend hesitated, "I slept with Hemmings' then-girlfriend," his voice was small.

"I thought you said he'd been his usual self," disbelief was filling his voice, and Ashton couldn't avert his gaze away from Calum's. Calum stayed silent for a while, and Ashton winced at Calum's expression. He looked remorseful and sad, he looked like a kicked pity, and Ashton couldn't help but pity him.

"Yeah, it's a reason why Luke's been his usual self," Calum muttered, "I fucked his relationship over. He has a mean right hook," Calum flinched just from the memory of being punched by Luke Hemmings. Ashton couldn't blame it, Luke was ripped, and Ashton was sure that he could throw hard punches.

"And the blog-..." Ashton didn't know where he was going with that, but Calum nodded.

"Yeah," he answered, "I don't even know how they found out, we didn't speak of it, and none of us would obviously rat each other out. I don't know how they found out, but I know I sure as hell ain't telling people my secrets anymore."

"You do that," Ashton laughed, and clapped his shoulder, "I never told people mine in the first place," with that they parted. Ashton mumbled something inaudible about getting a refill, and Ashton was pretty sure he heard Calum say something about a fuckable girl. There were bottles of whiskey in the living room, and Ashton stashed one before his hazel eyes escaped up the stairwell. God, he longed for some privacy. People tried to get Ashton's attention, but he ignored them all even if it was rude. Ashton didn't care about them and sneaked up to the second floor where he knew Michael's room would be. He wanted to be alone. Michael's room led out to a huge balcony, and Ashton shamelessly walked through Michael's room to get to that balcony.

The night was chilling and calming. Ashton took a swig of the whiskey, and the strong liquor burnt his throat. This was exactly what Ashton had needed. He didn't need the party, the people, the loud music or the sweat from the dancing bodies. All he needed was some peace and alcohol. Ashton had always liked drinking outside, there was something about the cold night air that made the booze taste better. There was this tingling on the tongue you noticed better, he could feel the warmth from the alcohol spread through his body, and he didn't shiver as much in the night breeze.

"Want company?" a blond head poked through the balcony to the doors and grinned at Ashton. Ashton met the blue eyes of Luke Hemmings and smiled slightly back.

"Yeah, please join my pity party," Ashton had meant the words sarcastic, but they came out harsher than he'd meant. Sounding truer than he'd meant, deep down he knew this was closer to the truth either way. Luke smiled slightly and closed the balcony behind him before he walked slightly over to Ashton and sat next to him. He noticed the blond had brought his own booze, and Ashton had to laugh, of course, the party king came prepared.

"And why is Ashton Irwin, king of Manhattan running away from his own welcoming party?" Luke's blue eyes peered into Ashton's eyes before he took a huge chug of his own bottle.

"Oh, I didn't realise that this was a party for me," Ashton mumbled, hoping that would steer the conversation away from himself.

"Well, not officially, but you know how it is," Luke shrugged, "and you didn't answer my question."

Ashton cursed silently, he didn't think Luke would've caught on, but he had to give the blond credit. Luke could be smart when he wanted to. Maybe this was just easy to see through? "I don't think people realise I've changed, I don't know if this is my kind of scene anymore," Ashton mumbled slightly.

"I can see you've changed. You used to bask in the attention, you hardly could stand it today," Luke answered. The blond took another sip of the bottle, and Ashton followed suit. The blue-eyed male was correct though, Ashton couldn't stand it anymore. Not like he did, at least.

"It used to be so fun, it's just mundane now," Aston shrugged, he didn't know how to explain and let his hazel eyes look at Michael beautiful view of the city. Michael's view was to die for, and he took another sip of the liquor.

"I get it," Luke answered, "I still love it, but sometimes I feel like I'm just going to the parties because they expect me to, not because I want to. What happened in Italy for you to have changed?" His blue eyes stared into Ashton's hazel eyes. Ashton could feel himself shiver, and he convinced himself it was from the cold.

"Nothing much. I bet you expect me to tell you something traumatic, but nothing happened. I did nothing for eight months," Ashton began, and Luke seemed disappointed by the answer. "I was left with my thoughts, catholic teachers and classic literature for eight months. I guess, I finally had some time to mature. I realised there's more to life than just this," Ashton made a hand gesture, but he wasn't sure what he meant. Did he mean the party or New York? "But at the same time, I don't know anything else. I don't have another option. It's just this or nothing. I hate both options."

"Things are never black or white, you have more options," Luke muttered.

"Yeah, well I don't see them."

"You haven't looked close enough."

They sat in silence for a slight while both just drinking their booze. It was a relaxing kind of. Luke and Ashton had always grown up in the same environment, they had attended the same high school since they were freshmen, and Ashton had known who Luke was since he was a kid. He hadn't known him for quite as long as he'd known Michael, but he had known Luke and known of Luke for a long time. They were both in the same social circle, and this wasn't their first encounter by far. On the other hand, they weren't good friends either. They had several friends in common, used to attend the same parties and had probably fucked most of the same girls. However, Ashton rarely went to Luke for advice or his problems. In return, Luke rarely came to Ashton to talk or to vent. Their relationship didn't work like that. However, Ashton wasn't quite sure what relation they had.

"Do you want your title back?" Luke asked, and turned slightly towards Ashton.

"Are you scared I'll steal it away?" Ashton grinned mischievously towards Luke.

"No," Luke began, "not necessarily. I don't care much for a title anyway. I was just wondering if we were going to have a feud over something so unimportant."

"The title means nothing to me," Ashton began, "you keep it. You do the title justice." Luke smiled slightly, and they toasted slightly to it. It wasn't much to toast about, but they both wanted an excuse to drink.

"Calum told me about ..." Ashton didn't know how he was supposed to phrase it, "I'm sorry about that. It must've sucked.

Luke shrugged again, and a small smile played on his lips. "Nah, don't think about it. I'm over it. Besides, if they're less loyal than me, then they're not a keeper." Luke played it off with humour, but Ashton could tell that it had hurt back then, even if the blond was over it now.

"This party blows," Luke began and helped himself up, "I've got drinks and weed at home, you in?" He's tall figure hovered over Ashton, and Ashton nodded slightly.

"Sure, I'm not drunk enough yet," Ashton replied, and Luke helped him up to his feet.

"Great, I'll call my limo," Luke said, as they started to walk out of Michael's place. Careful not to leave the whiskey bottles, they still had use for them.

[](https://ibb.co/FYXz89f)


	3. Terrible Things

His head hurt like hell when he woke up, Ashton had forgotten this feeling. The post-party feeling. He woke up on a couch he'd never seen in his life or couldn't remember. The scenery wasn't unfamiliar. But it had been a while since Ashton had been in this sort of scenario. There were points in Ashton's life where he woke up more in strangers' beds or on people's couches than in his own bed. That part of his life was over though, Ashton tried to remind himself of that but the headache pounding in his head gave him very little credibility.

A loud groan escaped his lips, how much had he drunk last night? He remembered escaping Michael's party with Luke, by then he'd been mostly sober. When they arrived at Luke's apartment that's when they actually started drinking, and there had been weed involved – Ashton couldn't be sure. All the memories after arriving at Luke's place was a bit fuzzy. At least Ashton knew which sofa he had been sleeping on. He looked around for a while when his hazel eyes adjusted to the light. Yeah, he was definitely at Luke's. His phone was laying on the coffee table, almost taunting him. He hoped it was early. Usually, Ashton couldn't be bothered by what the time was, but now he was. If the clock was nearing afternoon he'd mother would jump to conclusions and think he was back to his old ways. He was, but she didn't need to know that, and it wasn't quite like she thought. Luke was at least right about one thing; things were never just black and white. There was more to it.

He was begging the clock to be around eight in the morning as he reached for his phone. Disappointedly he looked at the clock, it wasn't eight, but he had seen worse times. It was ten in the morning; it wasn't that bad. Ashton could remember times he woke up in the evening, at least it was still morning. He had several missed calls from both Michael and his mother, none he bothered to answer. Ashton could feel his eyes starting to close again and tried to surpass a yawn to no avail. His body screamed for sleep and could the familiar numbness of being tired. He wanted to sleep but had no choice than to get up. Luke would probably let him crash on the couch for as long as he needed to. However, Ashton had plans for this Saturday – one being visiting Lauren.

With that Ashton got up, he cast a longing look to Luke's comfortable couch but didn't spare it any thought. His clothes were crumpled and ragged, he should change before he went to the hospital, but at the same time, Ashton didn't want to face his mother. Who was with no doubt still at home. Ashton took the liberty to make himself a coffee in Luke's kitchen, the blond was probably still asleep in his bed, and Ashton didn't feel like he was trespassing. Luke probably wouldn't mind as long as he made a cup for the blond. Just as he was taking the first sip of his coffee, he could hear noises of the blond getting up. Not long after he spotted Luke getting out from his bedroom, he looked like a walking zombie. With much worse hear than Ashton, and his clothes were twice as unkempt.

"God, how can you even be so alive this early?" Luke's morning voice asked. It was thick and husky, and he spoke a bit slower and lower than his normal voice. Ashton didn't have a good answer to the blond and slid Luke the cup of coffee across the counter instead. "Thanks," Luke mumbled.

They stood in the kitchen for a while just sipping their coffee, both in yesterdays clothing just a tad messier than they had been the night before. It was calming and peaceful, just what the two needed when the hangover was evident on the two of them. Silently Luke rummaged through the cabinets before he found what he was looking for, two glasses and painkillers. Filling the glasses with water, before he silently gave a pill to Ashton along with the water. As thanks, Ashton smiled towards the blond. They stayed silent for a few more comfortable minutes; Luke being the first to break the silence.

"Do you need to take a shower?" The blond seemed to have livened up a bit already, and Ashton could feel himself turning slightly better. He was still nauseous though, and the headache wasn't going anywhere.

"No, I should be on my way soon," Ashton began, he downed his water before he paused. "I could borrow a shirt though if it wouldn't be too much of a hassle."

"Sure," Luke replied, "that's not a problem," Luke said and went back to his bedroom. He returned only moments after with a blue Ralph Lauren shirt and tossed it to Ashton.

"Thanks."

"I'm gonna take a quick shower," Luke motioned to a door behind that was likely the bathroom, and Ashton only nodded as a reply. He didn't know what else he was going to tell Luke. So, he didn't say anything. Luke closed the door behind him, and Ashton undressed his own white shirt and switched it out with the blue one from Luke. He looked at himself in one of Luke's mirror, he didn't look too hangover, luckily. His hair was getting a bit long, but it didn't look unkempt. His black tight skinny jeans didn't look as ragged as the shirt had looked, and he had improved his looks just by changing the shirt. His hazel eyes glanced at the phone again, and he decided to reply to Michael.

Michael:  
Yo, Gossip girl said dat you and Luek went out? Where r u? 22.14

Michael:  
Sirousously where ru!!! 22.31

Michael:  
Seriousaley** 22.32

Michael:  
No, dats nor right either.... 22.33

Michael:  
Sriouslay*** 22.34

Michael:  
Fuck it, for real were ru? 22.36

Michael:  
Ashton!!!!!!! 23.15

Michael:  
Fucking ditcher 23.47

Michael:  
Bro, if ur shagging soem rando girl over me, I hate u 00.12

Michael:  
Bros b4 hoes!!! 00.13

Michael:  
I hoep u nevr get laid agian!! 01.23

Ashton:  
Sorry for ditching your party with Luke and not replying before now, I didn't sleep with anyone though, I was busy getting high 10.17

Michael:  
So weed's more important than me?? 10.17

Ashton:  
Yeah, pretty much 10.18

Ashton finished his coffee and wondered if it would be worth it if he made breakfast, he decided against it. He wasn't overly familiar with Luke's apartment, and although Luke didn't seem to mind his presence, something about it just screamed that he was crossing a line. He could always buy something on the way to the hospital. His hazel eyes checked the clock again, it was closer to half-past ten. The brunet sighed and decided it was time to go. He could still hear the shower running, and although it was incredibly rude to leave without saying goodbye, he had a sister to visit. And a mother to convince he didn't go out. He slipped into his shoes easily and searched for his jacket. It didn't take long to retrieve it, but before he was out the door Luke called his name.

"Wait up," Luke said, and Ashton turned to Luke. The blond was naked aside from the white towel wrapped around his waist. He was dripping wet, and Ashton could see the droplets racing down his chest. Luke walked over to Ashton until there was but a slight space between them. "May I borrow your phone?" He asked and reached out his right hand. Dumbfounded Ashton gave it to Luke without asking why the blond wanted it. He discovered quickly that Luke was typing in his own number.

"Didn't have your number," the blond explained, and Ashton nodded. "I'll have this dry-cleaned and sent to you," Luke nodded towards Ashton's shirt that was still lying on the couch. Crap, he'd forgotten it, but it was for the best either way. It seemed less likely that he'd been out all night if he didn't carry a shirt around.

"Likewise," Ashton replied, and gestured to the blue shirt he was wearing.

"Are you heading out?" Luke asked, and Ashton got suddenly aware of close Luke was standing while wearing nothing but a towel. Ashton nodded as an answer, he didn't trust his own voice for some reason. "Need my limo?"

"Well, I was actually thinking of catching a cab," Ashton admitted.

"Nonsense, use my limo, I don't mind," Luke insisted, and Ashton didn't know how to decline. It wasn't like Ashton didn't have his own, he just hadn't gotten back into the habit of using it. Besides, he'd only been here for a day, so he wasn't expecting being back into his old habits for a time. Some he'd never get back into. Like partying. But then again, he had just gone out, he was hungover, and Luke probably wanted his number because he enjoyed drinking with him. Everything was laid down for Ashton to follow that line. He had to be better at resisting it.

"Oh, okay sure," Ashton agreed when Luke didn't seem to budge on the theme. Ashton wasn't going to spend argue on it either, Luke offered, and Ashton agreed. Simple as that. The limousine was waiting for him outside when he walked out of Luke's luxury apartment, the driver greeted Ashton politely and asked for his destination, he arrived faster than he would've with a taxi. The driver asked if Ashton wanted him to wait outside, but Ashton kindly declined. The driver insisted he could at least come back later, but Ashton declined again. Ashton was sure the only reason the driver didn't bother to argue was because he got a call from Luke and had to drive him somewhere. This time the hospital let him see Lauren without problems. Ashton thanked the heavens that he didn't encounter the same receptionist because that would've been awkward.

The hall was empty, and Ashton lingered in the silence. He knew exactly which room Lauren was in, and the door into her was only an arms reach away. What was he supposed to say to hear? How was he going to approach the elephant in the room? Ashton didn't want to come in without a plan, but at the same time, he knew that if he stayed outside he wouldn't find the nerve to face her. With a large breath, Ashton found the courage to go in there. For god's sake, it was just his sister. He'd managed to face his mother, facing Lauren would be a piece of cake!

She sat there in the hospital bed and stared mindlessly out of the window, she looked bored. The TV was on, but whatever was playing seemed more like background noise than something she actually was paying attention to. Her skin was paler than the last time Ashton saw her, she was dressed in a hospital bed, and both her wrists were covered in heavy bandages. Outside of that, and the dark rings under her eyes, she looked healthy. She was alive.

"Hey Lauren," Ashton began carefully as he walked over to her bed. There was a chair next to her bed, and Ashton sat down. She smiled hugely at him and looked at him with disbelief.

"Ashton," she began loudly, "when did you come back!" Ashton took her hand slightly and tried to ignore the bandage.

"Yesterday," he admitted. Voice laced with guilt, "I tried to come here yesterday, but visiting hours were over. I should've called or ... something." Ashton didn't know what he should've done, but he hadn't thought of it. He should've bought her flowers or a teddy bear. A small token to show his love for her.

"It would've been useless though, mom took my phone," Lauren said silently.

"She took yours too," Ashton joked, but he couldn't bring himself to laugh off the poor joke. Lauren only smiled half-heartedly of his joke.

"So, already back to the party scene?" She asked him, he could see a teasing tingle in her eyes, and Ashton smiled slightly. At least this felt normal, their teasingly banter.

"I'm not going back," Ashton told her truthfully.

"Don't lie, I can smell the vodka."

"Don't tell mom," Ashton whispered in a small voice, "I just didn't know how to deal with the ... knowledge of you ..." Ashton didn't finish the sentence, and looking at Lauren his voice died in his throat. She didn't want to talk about it, but they both knew they had to.

"A bit harsh of mom to drop that bomb right after your arrival," Lauren joked, and Ashton couldn't bring himself to laugh this time either. It just felt wrong to laugh in this setting, evermore so when they were talking about Lauren's suicide attempt.

"Not harsher than seeing her face," Ashton began, and he could see a small smile on Lauren's lips. "She didn't have much choice, I forced it out of her."

"Yeah," was all Lauren said, they stayed silent for a while, and Ashton squeezed her hand lightly.

"Lauren," Ashton began, and he could feel his eyes begin to grow teary. His throat was threatening close up, and it was harder to get the words out. There was a heavy feeling in his stomach, and it just hurt so much. Ashton wanted to cry, but he pushed the tears back. Not now. "Why would you ... ever try to do something like that?"

The tears were already running down Lauren's face, and Ashton hated the sight. He was her older brother, he was supposed to protect her from pain, not be the one who caused it. "Please don't hate me Ashy," she whispered through her small sobs. The sight in front of him broke him, adding his childhood nickname was just the cherry on top. Ashton could feel his watery eyes threatened to spill, his sight was getting blurry, and he forcefully tried to blink the tears away.

"I could never hate you, Lauren," Ashton spoke honestly and got up to wrap his arms around her. She returned the hug immediately and continued to sob into Luke's Ralph Lauren shirt. The shirt was worthless anyway, the only thing that mattered was Lauren. "I could never hate you," he murmured again, and stroked her hair, trying to reassure his little sister, "I love you," he promised.

"Ash, I've missed you so much," she continued to cry into his shirt, and Ashton continued to stroke her ear and whisper sweet words hoping to calm her down. "I was so lonely," she admitted.

"I missed you too, sweet cheeks. I missed you so fucking bad." Her cries seemed to quiet down, but she still held onto him as her life depended on it. Ashton couldn't dare rip himself away from her, not that he wanted to either. This was his baby sister he'd missed her so much, and she was finally back in his arms. He was never going to let her go. They stood there for a while, probably for half an hour, Ashton was getting tired of standing, and the weight of her was getting uncomfortable, but he would be damned if he let her go. Another five minutes and Lauren was dozing off with a small content smile when Ashton promised to be there when she woke up. He sat down but still held her hand carefully when the hospital door opened quietly. His hazel eyes met eyes that matched his own before he quickly diverted his gaze. He didn't want to meet his mom, especially here, but he should've been expecting it.

"Ashton," she said surprised before Ashton shushed her, and silently pointed a finger to the sleeping Lauren. "May I talk to you?" she whispered, Ashton didn't want to cause a scene and risk waking Lauren. Instead, he nodded and got up from the chair before he followed his mother just outside in the hall.

"Ashton honey," she began, but Ashton could her the accusing tone, "where were you last night?" Ashton knew he wasn't getting out of this easily, and a half-lie was better than a complete lie she wouldn't believe. She sure as hell wouldn't get the truth.

"I was with Michael," he began truthfully, "and came home late, I got up early," Ashton lied. His mother wasn't going to check the security cameras, and she wasn't going to ask the receptionist or the doorman. He was her only source to the truth, and Ashton wasn't going to admit getting shitfaced and staying at Luke's.

"Ashton," she said shock, "you haven't been back for-..." he didn't want to heat the rest of that sentence and interrupted her.

"Geez mom, I haven't seen my friends since December, cut me some slack, I wasn't drinking, and I came home. I don't see the big deal," he rolled his eyes as an added gesture. His mother sighed, but she dropped it. "Besides I'm here for Lauren." With that he went back into the room and stayed in the chair beside Lauren, keeping true to his words. He might lie to his mother, but he could never do that to Lauren. Lauren didn't seem to wake up any time soon, she seemed to lack a lot of sleep, and was finally getting some rest. The hospital was damn boring, but Ashton wasn't going anywhere so he found his phone to keep busy. When he turned the phone on, he realised he already had a text from Luke.

Luke:  
You up for drinking tonight? 11.29

Ashton:  
You miss me that bad? 11.52

Luke:  
A good company is hard to find these days 11.53

Ashton:  
What happened to your old company? 11.54

Luke:  
He slept with my ex gf 11.54

Ashton:  
Don't be too harsh on Cal, I've probably done that more than him 11.55

Luke:  
Yeah, but none of them was MY ex 11.55

Luke:  
So, drinking 2nite? 11.56

Ashton:  
I shouldn't.... 11.57

Ashton:  
Mom would hate me if she caught me drinking 11.57

Luke:  
It's just sexier 2 sneak around 11.58

Luke:  
I can get u out and in unseen 11.58

Luke:  
So, drinking?? 11.59

Ashton:  
Sure, I need a drink 12.00

Luke:  
You need an entire bar 12.01

Ashton:  
Yeah probably 12.02


	4. Supersonic

Luke's limo was easy to spot, even if the blond had claimed to park it subtly. Nothing about it was subtle, but Ashton wasn't about to point it out. He was just happy to be out of his mother's grasp and couldn't care less if he ended up shitfaced right now. As long as it was just drinking with Luke and not a stupid party. Ashton had decided after last night that he didn't care for parties anymore. They bored him, and he doubted his interest in them would ever return. Probably, to Michael's dismay, but Ashton couldn't feel sorry for him. It wasn't his fault his mother had decided to send him away, or his fault that the time apart made him disinterested.

There was just nothing the party scene could offer Ashton. He had seen what it had to offer, and he had reaped the crops. There was nothing but dirt and weeds left. Nothing of value, nothing of interest. Frankly, Ashton wondered if even he had something to offer the party scene, what sides of Ashton hadn't Upper Manhattan seen before?

"Hey," Luke greeted him, as he climbed into Luke's limousine. Ashton smiled slightly before he returned the greeting and sat down.

"Where to?" Ashton asked as the car started moving, he looked at Luke and could see a twinkle in his eyes. Whatever Luke had planned it wasn't good. Not that Ashton had planned on a "good" evening, Luke and he was a combo that could only translate to bad and worse. Hell and purgatory were clashing, fire and ice. They weren't that different, but they were both destructive. That was what happened when Manhattan's party king and fuck boy decided to mingle. It couldn't end well. It never could. Ashton wasn't even certain he had good in him.

"Oh, you'll see," Luke answered cheekily, and Ashton had to refrain himself from rolling his eyes.

"I don't want to 'see for myself', can't you just tell me where we're going to?" Ashton asked, his annoyance showing more through than he had meant to. Luke didn't seem to mind if he even picked it up, the twinkle in his eyes never left.

"It's a surprise," Luke promised, and Ashton shook his head. He hated surprises.

"I'm not fond of surprises," Ashton tried to say calmly. Luke didn't reply to that for a while, he just smiled at Ashton and showed off his pearly straight white teeth. They were perfect, just like Luke's casual yet fancy attire, his blond wavy hair and his looks. He seemed like the opposite of Ashton. Ashton wouldn't classify his clothes as outstanding, they were quite casual, for the circle he kept to. They weren't fancy like Luke's. His hair was unkempt, and Ashton's looks didn't reach levels like Luke. He knew he wasn't ugly; he couldn't be. His experience and past encounters spoke for themselves. Ashton wasn't ugly. However, he wondered if girls slept with him because of his decent looks combined with the Irwin name. Luke could attract girls with his looks alone, his last name was just an added bonus.

"C'mon Ash," Luke said with a small smirk visible on his lips. "It'll be fun. How can you dislike surprises they're supposed to be fun!"

"'s just that whenever someone mentions 'surprises' they always end in something bad. My Italy trip was supposed to be a 'surprise'," Ashton replied dryly.

"Well, I'm not your controlling mother, I promise you this will be fun," Luke said and didn't budge on the matter. He didn't want to tell Ashton what the supposed surprise was supposed to be. "I promise to not ship you out of the country," the blond added with a wink, and Ashton laughed slightly. Ashton found it funny, but at the same time, he couldn't find it funny. The joke hit too close to home, especially since Ashton hadn't had the time to process all of it yet. He'd had eight months in Italy to process it and move on, and yet he could comprehend the situation. He was still stuck in the same track, not moving forwards, not moving backwards. Just stuck. In the same track, for months. Ashton didn't show this to Luke though, scared that it would ruin the mood.

He was unsure which terms he and Luke were on. They used to be enemies, if not nemeses, at least they used to compete against each other. However, now they were somewhat friends. They'd just spent one night together, but they seemed to get along. Ashton liked Luke's company, and it seemed that Luke preferred Ashton's company above many others. That much was established, however, aside from that Ashton wasn't quite sure where they stood. Were they party-buddies, or just regular pals? Would they share problems and inner feelings with each other or would they just party and have a great time together? Ashton was unsure and didn't dare ask. He was afraid that his reaction to the joke would bring the mood down because he wasn't sure what he and Luke were.

"I don't really trust your definition of fun, Hemmings," Ashton replied sassily back, instead. It lured a laugh out of Luke. It was surprisingly easy to make Luke laugh. Either he was a guy who found most jokes funny, no matter how bad they were, or he had a soft spot for Ashton's sad attempts at wittiness. Ashton wasn't sure whichever it was, and not sure which he would prefer.

"I am very insulted, Irwin," Luke replied instantly with fake offence visible in his voice. He even made a point of touching his chest as if Ashton's remark had hurt him physically.

"I guess you'll have to prove me wrong," Ashton said with a challenging look.

"Oh, it's on Irwin," Luke smirked back. Ashton could see how confidently he sat, his entire posture reeked of elegance and confidence. Luke was sure that he'd win whatever bet they had just made. Frankly, Ashton would mind that much if he lost, he was anticipating for Luke to prove him wrong. Ashton wasn't very fond of surprises, but he'd make an exception for Luke if it turned out to be fun.

The limo came to a halt and parked slowly. Luke made a move to get out of the car, and Ashton followed his gestures. As they got out, Ashton recognized the place immediately, down-town New York. They were standing outside a club, a fancy one, Ashton had never been to that particular club, but he could guess how the crowd would be. He could guess how the people, music and vibe would be. He'd been to enough clubs and bars to be able to see how it would be.

"A club?" Ashton asked with disbelief in his voice. His hazel eyes met Luke's blue ones and he the blond only shrugged slightly. Ashton didn't know what the blond had planned, but he knew somehow that there was more to it than just this. Ashton couldn't read Luke's mind, and he hadn't known the blond long enough to predict his moves, but he was certain there was more to it. The playful smile on Luke's lips served as proof.

"You'll see," Luke promised, "now c'mon Ash." Luke grabbed Ashton's wrist lightly and started dragging him inside. The grasp around his wrist was so light Ashton could pull his hand out of it if he wanted to, but the idea didn't even grace Ashton's mind. Ashton was content with being dragged inside by Luke. The bouncer didn't even look at them twice, didn't need to. Upper-east Manhattan residents were treated like royals sometimes. Especially, if your last name was Hemmings or Irwin. Luke led the way with so much precision and confidence, that Ashton could help but suspect that Luke had been here before. It wouldn't surprise Ashton the slightest, before Ashton's newly return, he and Luke had been somewhat of mortal enemies. They usually never hung out at the same place, unless their mutual friends hosted a party, or they were at the same gala. Ashton had never been here before, so it made sense in his head that Luke had.

They flew up a staircase or two before Ashton had the chance to look around. They were a few floors up and had an amazing view of the street, but Ashton was unsure what floor they were on. It had gone so fast, and Ashton was caught in the feeling of doing something adventurous. It was almost like old times, but instead of being something he was used to it was new and exciting.

"I rented a private booth for us," Luke admitted, and dragged him inside a glass door. He flickered his left hand slightly to a scanner with a silver card and the door clicked open. Ashton just realised Luke was still holding his wrist and retreated from Luke's grasp, the blond didn't seem to mind as he led Ashton into the private area. The 'private booth' turned out to be a private room. Two of the walls were made out of glass; one showed the club raging downstairs. The other window showcased New York at night, the city that never seemed to sleep. It was also leading out to an empty balcony. The room was dim and had a huge bar, but it was unattended. Aside from that, the room was filled with two large sofas facing each other and a table between them,

"This is a room," Ashton remarked as he watched the club downstairs, it was so odd seeing the people dance and bounce to a beat he couldn't hear.

"Don't worry," Luke said as he leaned over Ashton to watch the same scenery as him, "the windows are tinted they can't see much of us. I value my ... privacy." The thought that he could be watched hadn't even graced Ashton, but he appreciated that he could be alone with Luke without the prying eyes of others watching him.

"Oh, that didn't even cross my mind," Ashton replied in all honesty. He turned from the scene and watched now the bar with interest. "What's with the lack of bartender?" Luke turned to the bar as Ashton drew attention to the lack of a bartender.

"Easy," Luke replied with ease, his confident smile didn't falter once, "I told them not to get us one, just take whatever you want, and they'll put it on my tab. I told you I like my privacy." Ashton stared wide-eyed at Luke, but Luke didn't seem to go back on his offer. In the end, Ashton shrugged and couldn't do anything but accept it.

Luke strolled over to the bar as he owned it, and Ashton wouldn't be surprised if he did. Hemmings Enterprise mostly worked in trades and shipping, but Ashton wouldn't be surprised if they had expanded. Or maybe Andrew Hemmings had decided Luke was in need of new toys and bought him a club, because why the hell not? Luke's family were richer than Ashton's, they grew up in the same circles and the same societies – and you could hardly notice that. The only time when one really noticed was what one got from one's parents. While Ashton could get a car Luke would get a car factory. Not that Ashton really minded, he cared about money, of course, but he never found himself envying the other children. Mostly the knowledge of knowing that he was richer than most people was enough. Ashton was already upper-class, he didn't need to be upper-upper-class. Money could only buy so much. Ashton had more than he needed, and he didn't need more.

"Can I offer you a drink?" Luke teased from the other side of the counter, and Ashton grinned along.

"Yeah sure," Ashton began. His grin revealed that he had more on his chest to say. "I could need one, some moron dragged me here against my will." There was a playfulness to his tone and Luke couldn't take Ashton seriously, when they both knew that it had been more Ashton's need for a drink that had dragged them both to this place.

"Oh really?" Luke shot an eyebrow up to him before his gaze reverted back to the drinks. Ashton realised that Luke actually could mix drinks in a more professional manner, however, he wasn't surprised. The party scene did that to one. "Do elaborate."

"Oh, just your regular scumbag, ay?" Ashton smirked, "You know, the kind that comes from new money. Young, dumb, filthy rich and blond."

"Is there a problem with blondes?" Luke quickly looked away from the drinks, to discover that Ashton's playful expression was still visible.

"No," Ashton replied rapidly, "I just have a type." Ashton winked at Luke, and Luke grinned back.

"And he did get me into this place, so that counts for something, but he was definitely more muscle than brain if you get me?" Ashton leaned over the counter just to get closer to Luke.

Luke leant closer to, as his smirk widened slightly. "Oh, yeah? And where is Mister Scumbag, right now?"

"Don't know, don't care," Ashton shrugged, he was a god actor Luke noted. "I've got my eye on someone else," he winked at Luke, but then his playboy façade fell, and the real Ashton Irwin shone through the cracks of his mask. He started to laugh obnoxiously, and Luke couldn't help but join in. When the two finally came down from the high, the air around seemed much lighter.

"Drink for the hottest guy in the place," Luke said and set a glass in front of Ashton taking one himself and returning to Ashton on a bar stool. His teasing tone was light, and Ashton didn't bother continuing the fake flirting. Instead, he took a sip of the drink. He didn't know what Luke had scraped together, but it was good. It tasted fruity, and the taste of lime was persistent, with the after-burn of the alcohol, but it was good.

"This is good," Ashton complimented and took another sip.

"I'm glad you like it," Luke grinned, taking a large gulp from his own glass. "I call it 'Sunrise Luke on the rocks', makes it sound like I actually know what I'm doing," he gave off a half-smiled, and shook the glass slightly, so the ice clinked against the whiskey glass.

"I don't know, looked to me like you knew what you were doing."

"That's just an illusion, but I'm happy I could fool the Ashton Irwin."

"You say that as I'm hard to fool," Ashton retorted.

"Oh, yeah? You do have a bit of a reputation," Luke countered back. The way he pronounced reputation made it sound like he was flirting with Ashton, and Ashton couldn't help but slip into the familiarity of a more flirtatious role. His smirk was replaced with a more crooked, playful smile.

"I do?" Ashton said and faked surprise before the coy smile returned immediately. "Do tell me about it?" He finished his drink in one large gulp, and Luke followed suit. Before he helped them with new serving.

"Oh Irwin, wouldn't you like to know?" the twinkle in his eye never left nor did his smirk. "It's common knowledge that you're a bit," the blond paused, but not for the lack of words, but rather for a dramatic pause. "Freaky," he settled on, but his smile revealed that he had planned on that word from the beginning. Luke was much alike like Michael, good with words. Could hold a hell of a speech and would make Plato and Aristotle proud with their rhetoric and use of ethos, pathos, and logos. Luke knew how to bend, twist and manipulate words so he could extend them to their full purpose.

Ashton chocked a bit of his drink slightly, letting his surprise show slightly before his mask was back on. "Am I now?" Still, fake-flirting Ashton decided to one-up Luke and placed his hand on Luke's thigh. The blond stilled a moment, but aside from that Ashton didn't get much of reaction as he had hoped for. He assumed some semi-casual touching wouldn't surprise Manhattan's very own fuckboy. Ashton was playing Luke's game more than Luke was playing his. They weren't equal, and it showed in different ways, like Ashton losing.

Ashton was honest enough to admit it, but also stubborn enough to not give up.

"In which am I supposedly freaky?" Ashton asked, and leant a little closer to Luke's personal space. Not enough to startle him, just enough so he'd see it, and feel it. Luke didn't pull away though, and he didn't seem to care about the hand that was placed on his thigh. Luke only laughed and refused to answer him for a long time. Instead, he distracted both of them with more drinks, even popping a bottle of expensive champagne. Ashton was sure that the champagne – real champagne from the Champagne district in France – cost more than his entire attire, but he didn't mind as he was drinking the beverage. Luke had assured him that he could afford it and didn't seem to care much about the expensive drink.

So, the conversation moved on, and Ashton found it more relaxing in all honesty not to fake-flirt with Luke. The conversation seemed to grow stranger and stranger the more they drank, but Ashton didn't mind the slightest. Yet, he never removed his hand from Luke's thigh, and almost forgot he had placed the hand there. It almost seemed like it belonged there, and when the alcohol really hit his system it almost seemed strange not to touch Luke a little. He leaned a little closer when he spoke to him, let their shoulders touch when they casually drank, the hand never left Luke's thigh, not even when Luke briefly rested his own hand on top of Ashton's.

"Is it warm in here?" Ashton asked, slurring more than he thought he would. Ashton was hot, he knew it was the alcohol's mistake, and right now a trip out in the balcony seemed like the most satisfying thing in the world. Luke didn't reply, so Ashton stood up from the barstool. His balance was slightly off, but he regained it immediately. He couldn't believe that he was already this drunk. He wasn't as resistant to alcohol like he used to be, but Ashton hadn't thought it was this bad.

"I'm hot," Ashton said again, but this time more to himself. "I'm going out," he said this time to Luke and pointed to the balcony.

"Ah wait up, let me join you," Luke said after Ashton and quickly caught up with the honey-haired brunet. Ashton opened the glass door that led out to the huge balcony, and a faint smile made its way to his face as the cold air brushed against his face. God, it had been hot inside that room, at least that's what he told himself. The more sober part of his brain knew that it was the alcohol flowing through his veins that was radiating the heat. Ashton inched closer to the edge and looked at New York, it was so dark and alluring, yet he couldn't help but find it beautiful. For a while when he'd been in Italy, he had hated the place, or so he thought, but now that he had returned, he realised the city would always hold a dear place in his heart.

"I always preferred it at night," Luke mumbled as he got up on Ashton's side. "It just seemed calmer, easier to hide from the prying eyes?" It came out as a question, but it wasn't actually meant as a question.

"Yeah," Ashton sighed. "It's easy to camouflage in the darkness," he smiled but didn't quite reach his eyes.

They shared the silence for a while, enjoying the cold but calm night breeze. It was calming to stand there in each other's presence without the need to say anything or fill the silence with unnecessary words. Maybe one of the reasons Ashton already knew he liked to hang out with Luke, the blond knew when to shut up and when to not.

"Ashton," Luke began, his voice was quieter, and something about his tone changed the entire setting. Somehow, even if he just called Ashton by his name the tension seemed to thicken. Ashton shifted slightly so he faced Luke, and realised moments too late that he was too close to Luke. The drunken state of his mind didn't seem to care to move, and it only increased the tension. "Can I ask you something?

That question.

That question seemed to set it in stone. The tension was now so thick that Ashton was sure it was a physical thing. Nothing had happened, nothing remotely of importance. If someone saw them now or had been listening to their conversation, they know that nothing had happened. Yet, everything wasn't normal either. Ashton didn't know how to explain it, it just was.

There was a feeling in his gut that Ashton trusted that said things would be better if he went back inside. However, Ashton made no sign to move. The rational part of his brain told him to move before something he'd regret, but his legs were glued to the ground. He didn't move, he could, but he didn't want to. He wanted to stay, even if it was a foolish choice. They should go back, they really should, but Ashton rather liked it outside. Maybe he could blame it on the alcohol?

Ashton looked up at Luke through his lashes and sucked in a breath. "Yeah?" Luke looked at him, his blue eyes gazing over Ashton before he continued.

"Why did you leave New York?" he settled on. Ashton had been anticipating that question a lot, knew he would get a lot more in the future when he returned to St. Jude's again, but not from Luke.

"I thought you knew," Ashton said instead, hoping that would distract Luke from Ashton giving him an actual answer. He didn't want to talk about it, they should go back inside.

"No, we weren't actually friends before, remember? Besides, Michael threatened to punch anyone who talked or asked about it, he did go through with it too. From what I know about the night, it was just you, Mike, and Cal there, and Cal and Mike made some treaty to never speak of it. I don't know jack shit," Luke answered. He didn't seem angry for not knowing, he seemed to reckon that he had nothing to do with it and that it wasn't his business, he was just curious. Ashton looked at Luke and studied him for a slight second. Luke would probably accept Ashton answer if he said he didn't want to talk about it, but he didn't want to talk about it, not even utter those few words of dismissal.

It was getting colder. They should go back inside.

"Luke," Ashton began," we should-..." the words died in his lips when he saw Luke's expression. The look was sending him. Luke's hands easily found their way around Ashton's waist, and Ashton's hands shouldn't have wrapped itself around Luke's neck as fast as they did, but they did. The little space between them seemed more like a minor inconvenience than an actual barrier.

"We should what?" Luke teased; the blond leaned his head closer to Ashton. Ashton was speechless, and he hated the effect Luke had on him. Hated how Luke knew how to use it. His breath was fanning against Ashton's skin, and the night cold didn't seem like a problem anymore.

"We should head back," Ashton muttered, his eyes fluttered slightly, leaning into Luke's touch. It was obvious that Ashton had no intention if going anywhere. "But I don't wanna." Ashton continued before he closed the slight gap between them. Their lips met in a hot, messy and passionate kiss. Ashton had to blame it on the alcohol. There was no way he would be kissing a man, no matter how attractive Luke was, when sober. Every straight man did some experiencing, right? Because he was, straight.

However, Ashton couldn't really care about his sexuality as he did a very not-straight thing. The kiss was too distracting to let the rational part of his mind dominate. Not that the rational part had much of a chance when Ashton had consumed as much alcohol. Luke's tongue licked his bottom lip in a silent way of communicating, and Ashton was too experienced to not know what it meant. He parted his lips slightly and let Luke's tongue slip into his mouth. He could hear a small sound escape his throat, a moan, but it was so foreign, alien, that he could hardly recognize that it came from himself.

Instead, he let the kiss continue. He shouldn't. He really should just head inside, but Ashton wasn't strong enough to fight off the temptation. He would let himself be not-straight for the night. Enjoy kissing Luke now, and then forget about it tomorrow. With that in mind, Ashton pulled Luke impossibly closer, and he could feel Luke smile slightly in the kiss, but neither of them made a motion to end it. No, they both leaned into each other. It was messy and distorted, but Ashton was willing to blame that on the alcohol. Most of all, it was hot.

Ashton could feel his pants growing tighter, and if that wasn't a bit worrying, the brunet didn't know. He wasn't supposed to be turned on by a guy, he was straight for God's sake. However, he still couldn't make himself end this kiss. Five seconds more, and then I'll do it, Ashton promised himself, but he constantly found himself pushing the limit again and again. They parted for a slight breather before they were on each other again.

Yeah, Ashton would forget it all tomorrow. He was straight tomorrow, but for the night he'd let himself enjoy it.


End file.
